Have you met anyone who complained about receiving too much appreciation?

Think about this: have you met anyone who quit his job because his boss had appreciated him too often? – See, we neither! The opposite is usually the case. Staff members are not appreciated often enough. We probably all know this thought „If I’m not critizised my boss seems so be satisfied with me!“. Some executives even think this is cool, but our staff members often are disappointed – and at the end of the day get frustrated and quite demotivated over time.

But how are appreciation and motivation linked up?

It’s quite obvious that appreciating staff members motivates them to go the extra mile. But, some executives think that when giving too much appreciation staff members will run riot. We believe, you can’t praise someone too often, if you do it the right way.  

Staff – and superiors as well – are motivated by different reasons to do a good job. Frederick Herzberg, well-known US psychologist and management thinker, showed in his motivation model that working motivation is influenced by two factors: Motivators and Stabilizers.

Motivators increase satisfaction and performance. 

Motivators are: interesting tasks, autonomous working, personal responsibility, empowerment for decisions, successes, appreciation for good results from your superior, and career opportunities.

Stabilizers include all your working conditions. 

They stabilize the team atmosphere and prevent dissatisfaction. Stabilizers are: good work place equipments, adaquate salary and social benefits, job security, satisfying relationships with colleagues, and attractive company image. 

So, if you appreciate good results of your staff you pay into the motivators and increase performance.

How do you to articulate your appreciation in a way that it is heared and believed?

We often observe that executives struggle with positive feedback. They think that they always have to suggest how things can be done better instead of just expressing an appreciation.

Try to avoid this example: „You have worked well on this document, but on page 5,6, and 10 are typos.“ You’re reducing the impact of your positive feedback immediately with your critisism. Your employee will not remember the positive message but rather get hooked on the negative.

We suggest this: „You have worked well on this document. Your research was good and you wrote the report in a very clear way.“ – Then you pause! Let the message sink in. Now you can continue with: „Could you please check pages 5,6, and 10 again for typos.“

Can you see the difference between these two small examples? 

The first approach is focused on mistakes. The second approach is focused on taking personal responsibility for the work piece. This is a strong and positive message for your employee. You’re expressing that you believe he’s skilled enough for this job and autonomous enough for healing the mistake alone. Understanding this message your employee will definitely want more of your appreciation and will try harder the next time.

We encourage you to appreciate your employees more often and give concrete positive feedback. 

Over time you will observe how motivation in your team increases and atmosphere stabilizes. We see this in our work with executives and teams all the time and it makes us smile every time.

Author: Brigitta Wurnig,Topmanagement Coach and Managing Director of Brigitta Wurnig Coaching GmbH,Hamburg

3 Tips for Your Self and Time Management

Do you know this: Your whole day is packed with dates, your assistant has gone the extra mile to make all these dates possible, and still time just seems to be too short for all your tasks? Well, what can you do to manage yourself and your time in a much better way?

Recent research on self- and time management has shown that we have to forget about a long-time believe and recommends: No multitasking! – Disband multitasking and work through your tasks one after the other.

Our brain can’t process multiple tasks at the same time. Therefore, multitasking makes us slower and vulnerable to mistakes. Just think about it now: how much time do you need to work on a task in the afternoon you already had looked at in the morning the first time? – Usually, it takes much longer because you have to re-read the paper, re-consider conclusions you might already have had in the morning, and start working through from the beginning. 

One quick tip here: Organize your dates along tasks and topics instead of spreading dates with different topics all over the day. This will focus your energy and increase your concentration.

Here are three more tips for your successfull self- and time management:

Focus – Strictly prioritize which tasks you have to work on

Caution: it’s not about „wanting“, it’s about „having“ to work on. This means you should focus on tasks where your input is crucial and not the ones you might find attractive. It requires quite a piece of self-discipline not to jump on every attactive topic and get lost in time. You should be aware that time is your most precious asset which you shouldn’t waste for useless work.

Tip: Just take 5 minutes now and write a list of 10 topics you are just busy with. Now prioritize the true top 3 tasks on your list…and delegate the rest.

Filter – Filter your emails, e.g. by delegating a pre-selection to your assistant

Only read emailst hat are addressed to you and that you are not only copied in with hundreds of others. You have to educate your environment only to send emails to you that are important and relvant.

Tip: You have to tell your environment that you expect them only to send relevant emails to you if you want to manage your inbox. This is a process and needs some time. It’s worth though if you can reduce the amount of emails over time because you win time and focus.

Forget – You should forget your work for a while

If you want to re-charge your creativity your brain needs some time out. Being busy all the time and  caught in the treadmill prevents you from thinking out of the box. There is no room for innovation. So seek for time to press „reset“ and do things you love to do. I mean really love to do.

Tip: The best ideas usually come when you are relaxed. You can plan such relaxing acticities or times. Think of things that are good for you, be it reading, sleeping, swimming, walking, medidating, golfing, or whatever is fun for you. You will be in good company of some very successful CEOs with long-standing meditation practice, good golf handicap, or triathlon experience.

In case you want to reflect and work on the best practice for your self- and timemanagement we are at your side with our coaching expertise from numerous executive coachings.

9 Top Ways Women Give Away Power

One of the best articles I read about the most important traps women tend to step into during their carreer. I see it in almost every executive coaching with female leaders, regardless which level, how talented women still struggle with the male code in business.

After reading this article in Forbes you will be prepared for the next step in your carreer by stopping using minimizing language, apologizing, or letting others take credit for your ideas.

To all my female readers: follow these tips and have fun storming the management world!

Brigitta Wurnig, Top Management Coach

Here the link to the full article:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/bonniemarcus/2015/09/21/the-9-top-ways-women-give-away-power/?ss=forbes-woman

McKinsey Quarterly - Gender equality: Taking stock of where we are

Dominic Barton, McKinsey's global managing director, Sandrine Devillard and Judith Hazlewood clarify that companies need to challenge fundamental mind-sets and behaviors inside the company while setting (or continuing) in motion a number of initiatives in support of gender diversity.

It's a long-term effort and not a sprint. - And from our experience as executive coaches and business women it's worth every mile!

Read the whole article here:

Why are women still underrepresented at every level of today’s corporations?

September 2015 | byDominic Barton, Sandrine Devillard, and Judith Hazlewood

There is a growing consensus among top executives that gender diversity is both an ethical and a business imperative. Yet progress is painfully slow. Despite modest improvements, women are underrepresented at every level of today’s corporations, especially in senior positions. http://www.mckinsey.com/insights/organization/gender_equality_Taking_stock_of_where_we_are?cid=mckwomen-eml-alt-mkq-mck-oth-1509

How to improve your listening skills

“We do not take the time to listen. We keep quiet while we look for arguments!” commented an executive in one of our sessions.

Unfortunate as this comment might be, it only reflects the reality we live in. We all recognize the importance of listening and how great a leadership skill it is. It would be difficult to find a person in business who would not stress how vital listening is.

We only listen for a pause when we can talk!

Unfortunately, it is also very rare to find a good listener. The way this usually works is as follows:

• We start talking to someone with the good intention of really listening. We really focus on the other person and do our best to concentrate on what they say.
• Then we hear something that really catches our attention. Maybe we do have a strong opinion on it, either for or against; or maybe a funny story to tell about it.
• This is when our brain starts thinking about what we want to say and we only listen for a pause when we can talk and tell our story.

Our good intentions go out of the window, together with our effective listening.

Improve your listening skills in three areas

To help improve our listening skills, there are three areas to focus on:

1.       Listen to what is being said. Do not think about possible answers and keep your mind empty. Listening is an active process. This means you have to actively focus on what is being said and actively work on stopping all the other stories going on in your head.

2.       Listen to understand, not to respond. Suspend all possible judgment about what is being said and switch on your curiosity to really understand the other person.

3.       Listen to what is not being said. This really is the golden nugget. Do look out for pauses in the conversation, tone of voice, eye movement, gestures, etc. Usually some very important stuff remains unsaid.

Tips on how to improve your listening skills

As in any coaching session, the question now would be: how can I put this into practice?

Here are two good and simple exercises to help you sharpen your listening skills:

-        

•               Sharpen your non-verbal communication skills – “listen with your eyes”

o   Watch groups of people from far away and try to “follow their conversations” and interactions. The way to do this is: go to a coffee shop and sit where you can see a group of people and cannot hear them. Watch them talk and work out the different interactions, who supports whom, who is against whom, who is engaged, who is bored, who has switched off. Watch TV with the voice switched off and do the same exercise as above. This also works if you watch a movie in a language you do not understand. This way you practice to get the message with your eyes.

•           Be strong remaining silent – Use your will power

o   Whenever you catch yourself wanting to tell your story instead of keeping focused on your counterpart just keep your mouth shut. Sounds bold, when we write this, but in reality that’s the way it works. You could make it a sport by counting the times you couldn’t resist and interrupted your counterpart as well as remaining silent. See which side wins…and work on your personal area for improvement.

Gravitas, not simple power!

With our clients we often discuss the pro and cons of listening and waiting for the right time for action in a meeting or conversation. It’s about the fear or risk of losing authority if you don’t interrupt others and demonstrate your power. In our opinion authority comes from gravitas – and for gravitas you need to listen to others for clearly understanding their agenda. Then you have the chance to stir the conversation in the direction you want it.

Interested in our coaching services for improving your leadership gravitas? Click here.

Teresa Ramos, Senior Executive & Intercultural Coach, Brigitta Wurnig Coaching GmbH

Brigitta Wurnig, Premium Coach, Managing Director, Brigitta Wurnig Coaching GmbH

Contradicting your boss across cultures - Part 2

Remember from our last week’s post: “German-Spanish project team facing severe issues with quality delivery”? – Here are our expert tips:

Spaniards make everything possible

In the Spanish working culture, it is seen as a sign of engagement and commitment to do your best to deliver what your boss asks for. To tell your manager that what he is requesting is not realistic is perceived as lack of engagement and interest. You always do your utmost to meet client´s and boss´s expectations fully. It is also vital to preserve the relationship with the person and not make them lose face by pointing out that what they are requesting is not feasible. A Spanish employee would be very reluctant to put their managers or clients in such an awkward position.

Germans gain standing by contradicting

In the German culture it is a sign of professionalism to analyse your client´s or boss’s request. Should the request be unrealistic, you do let them know in the clearest possible way. They may be your managers or your clients but you are the professional who can assess what is feasible and what is not. Here the facts are important. It is your duty as an expert to teach your boss or client about them.

And how did our client team learn from this

Now, back to our international team, once we highlighted these differences to them, the breakthrough came when the German Unit Manager asked the Spanish project manager to contradict him. The Unit manager explained that this would earn the Spanish employee more professional respect.

At the end of our workshop, the team had reached an agreement. Spanish people would clearly communicate to the German management when something was not feasible or wrong.

You have to change the mindset if you want to overcome cultural differences

Implementation of this type of agreements is always difficult because of how deeply ingrained cultural values and belief systems are in our behaviors. Once people get back to their normal environment and work becomes stressful, it is difficult to implement a new behaviour. Individuals automatically go back to the old way of acting when circumstances become challenging.

How intercultural coaching can help

A longer support and follow up is required to ensure a behavioural change, so the team also enlisted our help to keep their commitments.

Enlisting the help of a coach to support the team or individuals in their journey towards change is the best way to ensure that they stay on track and continue displaying the new behavior.

Some coaching questions

to help implement a new behavior in a challenging environment are:

• What are the triggers for the old and now undesired behavior?
• How could you anticipate these triggers and prepare yourself to display the new behavior when they happen?
• What would be the smallest step you could take to implement the new behavior?

It is vital to keep in mind how different values and belief systems are in different cultures. Once you know about them, you can work to integrate them. It is then that the full power of your international team can be released!! You can read more about our team coaching approach on our website here (link).

Contradicting your boss across cultures - Part 1

“It is impossible!! I cannot do it…- said the senior project manager, feeling completely overwhelmed. 

“But you must!!”- Answered the unit manager- “you must contradict me!!”

This happened during one of our intercultural workshops. The client had called us in to help with a German-Spanish team that was having significant problems with the quality of their deliverables.

What would you have done in this situation?

 Perhaps…

·         try reducing scope,
·         extending deadlines,
·         scheduling more meetings,
·         adding extra testing resources?

None of this had worked so far in our client’s project. We and our intercultural coaching were their last attempt.

Cultural differences

During our preparation meetings, the Spanish sub-team had worked with our Spanish senior coach and the German sub-team with our German senior coach. Now we were all together with senior management in a kick off workshop. Once we started working on quality issues of the deliverables, we quickly realised what the problem was:

The German management team was producing requirements that the Spanish team was not able to deliver, despite their incredibly long working hours.

Two natural reactions from both sides highlight the different perspectives and frustrations:

“Why is the Spanish team not telling us that our requirements cannot be delivered?”- Was wondering the German management.

“Why is our management not appreciating the efforts we are making to deliver the next best thing to these clearly unachievable deliverables and very tight deadlines?”- was wondering the Spanish team.

It sounds like an insurmountable mismatch, doesn’t it? The impact we saw was the German management getting frustrated and could not understand the lack of quality. The Spanish team was getting frustrated at having their enormous efforts go unnoticed and their technical expertise questioned.

This was yet another clear example of how different cultures and their different value systems play a vital role in the functioning of a team. We know it is best to address them as soon as possible to ensure a successful delivery.

Find out in our next week´s post what the root cause of the problem was and how we helped the project team solve it.

Teresa Ramos, BWC Senior Executive & Intercultural Coach. Our expert for intercultural coaching.